The Bully, the Victim, and the Bystander: Thoughts From the Threshold of a High School Reunion

This week I’ll be heading to my home town for a visit.  Although it’s not the only reason to subject myself to a week in the tropical heat and humidity of a midwestern summer, I plan to attend my high school reunion while I’m there.  The last reunion I attended was over a decade ago […]

How Important is a Dad?

Today is Father’s Day and I find myself feeling so grateful that my dad still walks this Earth with me and so grateful that he was a loving, responsible, caring dad.  As I scan through my personal Facebook page, I’m struck by how many of my friends and family miss their fathers today and how […]

7 Topics to Help Your College-Bound Teen Be Emotionally Prepared to Launch

Many years (ok, decades) ago, I was preparing for this transition myself.  I kept my misgivings about it hidden away because everyone else around me seemed so excited about it and the adults around me kept telling me how great a time I was going to have in college.  Finally, at a party welcoming home […]

I’m a senior in high school! Why are my parents driving me crazy??

  This week I’ve been really aware of the end of high school dynamics parents of seniors go through and thought I’d tell you about four issues I see every single year in my private and professional life.  Let me remind you, I was recently the parent of a high school senior myself.  I’m pretty […]

What’s the difference between being deserving and being entitled?

Whenever someone tells me to treat myself because I deserve it, I always have to pause and consider whether that’s true.  Do I deserve it?  Why do I deserve it?  How do they know if I deserve it?  What have I done to merit this reward?  Honestly, if I really want something, I will do […]

Can you sharpen your boundaries but soften your edges?

At the end of 2013 I received a call from a frustrated mom of a pre-teen young lady who was digging in her heels around following through with her household chores and homework and was starting to give her mom some attitude in what should have been benign conversations.  Mom had had about enough of […]

Compassion with a case of head lice

When my daughter was in kindergarten, she was constantly requesting play dates at our house with her new-found friends.  For weeks she had pestered me to invite one particular girl over who usually went to after care on the school campus.  Finally, I got the long-awaited play date arranged, brought the girls home, fed them […]

Have you heard back from colleges yet??

Working with teens all the time, and having raised a couple of them along the way, I’m acutely aware of the pressure that builds at this time of year.  Many kids are anxiously awaiting replies from schools and feeling the burden of having to base their entire future on one decision.  I’m not saying that’s […]

Is there a solution for every problem in therapy?

Is there a solution for all issues that bring folks into therapy?  It’s great when folks come into therapy with some resolvable issue – the need to get along better with their kids, communicate better with their spouse, improve co-parenting between couples whether they are doing so together or apart, or work toward alleviating anxiety or […]

Do you take better care of others than you do of yourself?

This is such a good question and one that requires examining on a case-by-case basis.  This is also something that seems to come up often with all of my clients – be they male or female, young or old.   I also encounter the issue among those in my personal life fairly frequently.  Since I’m […]