When my daughter was in kindergarten, she was constantly requesting play dates at our house with her new-found friends.  For weeks she had pestered me to invite one particular girl over who usually went to after care on the school campus.  Finally, I got the long-awaited play date arranged, brought the girls home, fed them lunch, and set them up to play for the afternoon.  Then came the dreaded robo-call informing me that my child may have been exposed to head lice.  I immediately called the teacher and asked if it was in her classroom and she said the outbreak had started in after care!!!  I begged her to let me bring the girls by for a head check and she graciously agreed.  My daughter’s head was clear (that time!) but, low and behold, her friend had a few critters attached!  The teacher was very sweet.  She said nothing aloud but got my attention and silently pointed it out.  Now what!?  This child was supposed to be in my care for at least another 3 hours!!  Since my daughter had once had a pretty bad case of it, I was a bit panicky but I also knew that panic wasn’t going to help.  Neither was rejection or ostracism or treating the poor kid like she had the plague!  I calmly called her mom  to inform her and set the girls up to play outside –  3 feet apart – until the mom showed up.  Having been through this particular nightmare myself, I had a lot of sympathy for both of them.  I knew to treat them and the situation with the same compassion many had shown me and my children in prior years when they were suffering from the same problem.

That mom and I are now thick as thieves and have been for years.  We often talk about the moments we each knew we were destined to be friends.  For her, it was when she climbed out of her car to get her daughter and met me in person for the first time, expecting to be greeted with rejection. Instead she received compassion.  Because of that, she knew she wanted to keep me around.

Sometimes I think about how easily I could have greeted her differently.  Growing up in the midwest, lice wasn’t something we encountered except in our Passover Seders.  Had I reacted with rejection or revulsion, I would have lost out on one of the closest friendships I’ve ever had in my life.  I had one moment in which to choose to act with kindness and compassion and it’s a moment that changed my life thereafter.

So this little post is just a reminder to choose to act compassionately whenever possible.  You may not make a new best friend but you won’t regret the decision.